You've heard “If it ain't broke, don't fix it.”
Just the other way around. In marriage, you should be proactive than reactive.
Wives hate it when you just fix things in marriage. They want development not maintenance.
My wife is into the Japanese Kaizen mode all the time. She loves continuous improvement in our house, kids, education, relationship with God, even in ministry. She keeps upgrading our kids education system, our daily meals and menus, our home decors, the way we live life at home... a lot.
I love her mucho for that.
My wife can be nominated for Proverbs 32 award. Sobra sobra pa. ("More than meets the eye" yan)
She can do multiple things at the same time. She can carry load beyond what people expect from her. She is wonder woman. I marvel at her for being the way she is. (Sometimes I wonder what's on our bill, She signs, I wonder.)
She is just BRILLIANT!
Some of the things we do to improve our marriage:
1. We treat each other with great respect
Respect can be defined as:
- taking your partner's feelings into consideration
- trying to understand other person's viewpoint first
- listening without interrupting
- keeping an open mind.
- Its basically "others"-centeredness.
2. We love each other unconditionally
Love improves relationships. When there is love the home becomes heaven. Wives easily respect a loving husband. Love attracts respect. Men, if you want great respect, give her great love.
"Love is like war: easy to begin but hard to end" - Anonymous
3. We listen carefully
Be quick to listen and slow to speak. When we talk a lot, we miss the most important things our spouse is communicating. Couples fight when they just want to be heard. They talk louder, with more volume. Thinking it will solve the issue. But improvement comes with a reflective ear.
Listen twice. Speak strategically. Choose you words.
For the men: Don't prove who's right or wrong. Just when you have proven you are right, you are already in the wrong.
4. We forgive unconditionally
Fights are unavoidable. Misunderstandings can come from all angles (normally on small things). But when you need to clarify, start with a forgiving heart first. Couples can actually fight clean. How? Forgiveness. Repentance is easier when both parties have humble hearts. And even if you got hurt several times, forgive still. 70 times 7 daily.
5. We learn from others
Copy from others. Imitate the good. There is no one who can claim he is the "original". Everybody learned from somebody. Whatever is lovely, whatever is pure, whatever is excellent, whatever noble, whatever admirable... COPY IT.
6. We celebrate our victories
Improvement is challenging, so with every small victory you gain CELEBRATE. This gets you excited for more.
